thing three

i may have mentioned before that we are expecting thing three this june, or as it happens, a bit earlier. this was one of those times when one partner says, "hey, you know, we could do that again." (my husband) and the other partner (me) laughs and says "well yes, but let's wait just a bit, shall we?" and then POOF the jig is up. my mother warned me about this, she said one afternoon she and my father had a conversation that went something along the lines of "hey, lets have kids" (my father) "hey, let's have puppies instead" (my mother) and there was my brother. apparently the women in my family are highly susceptible to suggestion. this left me a bit on the ambivalent side when, about 5 months ago, i confirmed that i was expecting, again. already. so soon. thing two had left me with some problems in my back and the joint in my pelvis that only just started feeling better a few months before, and i was terrified of going through all the debilitating pain again. the delivery was a breeze, but at around two and a half months my back went out, my pelvic joint slipped and the bones overlapped into a pinching position, and there they stayed until evan was about six months old. i was working my way to better back health and a slimmer pair of jeans at the gym, and finally starting to progress, and now i'm gaining again. *sigh* fast forward to about 8 weeks ago, i'm warming up to the idea, i really am. then i start bleeding. and i panic, just a bit. i get a sitter for the kids, my husband runs me down to the dr, and the whole time i'm thinking, "i finally get on board and you bail on me? i don't think so. stay in there baby, stop scaring mama." the dr does an ultrasound and everything checks out. the bleeding stops and i have to sit on my butt for a week. we have a follow up, and everything looks fine. great. in the mean time my back is getting worse, but not miserable, and my pelvic joint is getting sore but not nearly as bad. in short, things are looking up. then yesterday we go for the 20 week ultra sound. i'm now 21 weeks, and this is the one where they take forever and check everything twice. so the tech tells us it looks like a boy, we ooh and ahh over little fingers and toes, she finishes up, then says, "um, i'll be right back" then a dr breezes into the room, they goo me up again and she says "yep, see there's only two vessels showing right there, lets just have a look for anomalies" anomalies? like, abnormalities? i'm no english major but i'm pretty sure that's not a good word when it comes to my baby. she then proceeds to mutter things like "oh, good, there's one hand. he's a mover! and ok-ay yes there's the other hand. that's good. and, alright two feet. okay. trisomy 18, mutter mutter. spot on your placenta, oh you bled? okay, well there it is. i'll get this to your dr, soon." okay, we're given our little picks of feet and blurry arms and shuttled out. hmmm. last night i get home and all i can think is trisomy 18, what? turns out pretty horrific. then i look more. most sights say a baby can be fine with a two vessel umbilical cord, but there's a likelihood of the baby not growing as fast inutero due to decreased flow. so, either horrible genetic malformations and congenital problems with a high mortality rate, or a kinda small perfectly healthy baby. wow, i feel great. and gee, friday was a great day to schedule this, because now i get to spend the weekend with this hanging over us. i'll tell you one thing for sure, as i sit here with little (probably) Ian kicking like crazy as i type, i'm off the fence. i'll take a small healthy, somewhat sooner than hoped for baby, thankyou.

cottage reflections

i'm sitting here on the couch with my feet up, listening to my kids play outside, and marguritaville is on the radio. does it get better than this? i propose that it does not. sure, my husband could be home, but he's at work, slaving away because he loves me and these kids and if there's anything better than having him home, that's the one thing. could i have a frosty little drink in my hand? well, yes, but i did make some guava orange passion fruit juice earlier as a treat, and i'm about sugary drinked out. i'm content. i remember two moments in my life very clearly right now: the first, standing in the kitchen of my trailer (not makin' it up folks) experiencing once again the eye of the hurricane that was my life at the time wishing desperately that life could just always be as perfect as standing in the clean kitchen watching the curtains blow in the breeze. it didn't last back then, poor choices and perceived chains kept me from much peace. now i'm blessed to have a life that is almost always curtains in the breeze, so to say. the second, an afternoon bible study where the pastor posed the question "what does 'life abundantly' mean to you?" my answer was to not be hungry in any way. just let me have enough. enough food, enough love, enough warmth, enough friends. there have been more times than i can count when my life was anything but abundant and rather than make me greedy, it has made me humble. i don't need excess, i don't want too much, i'm no glutton. just give me 'that life abundantly' to the point of contentment, then pass the rest to the next guy. so today, the house is not sparkling, the yard is not ready for sunset magazine to show up, the kids are in a somewhat random state of being (dirt on shirts, snot on noses) and i remain adamant that this life, right here in this cottage, right now on this unseasonably warm january day, could not be improved.

aye, there's the rub.

if you've been to my house at all in the summer, chances are you've experienced The Rub. i'm talking dry bbq rub here, and i humbly posit that it's the best i've ever had. also, quite versatile. of course anything that starts with a big pile of brown sugar can't go too far wrong, can it? a few years ago my dad and i really got into bbq, we were watching shows and reading books and i wont lie to you, some bad things happened on our family grill. after much research (see also: beer drinking) i've settled on a good method for mixing up rub and i usually mix a whole bag of brown sugar at a time, as you experiment with your own i suggest starting with about 1 cup of packed brown sugar and adding spices from there. the key, i've found, with rub for pork or chicken is to soak the meat in cider vinegar for a while before cooking. for my pork ribs i usually let them soak in straight cider vinegar for a few hours, with the chicken i mix a bit of the rub in with the vinegar. the rub itself? i'm glad you asked! brown sugar, garlic salt, white pepper (or finely ground black pepper), paprika, a bit of poultry seasoning, a touch of cumin, ground cloves, and onion powder. this is a basic mix, and i don't list amounts because you'll just have to follow your nose. i've been threatened by my husband with work as a drug sniffing dog, and i know that not everyone has the same olfactory prowess as me, but you know what your family likes. if you mix a basic batch and try it, well maybe next time you'll add some cayenne, or mustard powder is a good treat but i don't put it in every time. tarragon is also a tasty addition but if i'm going to sauce my ribs at some point i don't add it because it gets buried and detracts rather than adds. the point is this: dry rub is a great way to go. as always i like it when i know exactly what's in the food i'm serving my family and friends and as a method it's simple and effective. back to said method. if your meat is still soaking, drain the excess vinegar and rub thoroughly with your mix. if you're cooking on the grill set yourself up for low, indirect heat. i like to start in the oven on racks, it's just easier for me to make sure little hands don't get burned that way. low and slow is the way to go here, 275 for about 4 hours is best. it sounds like a long time, and it is. flip your ribs or chicken some time in the middle. a note on chicken: if you're cooking breasts, mix the rub with the vinegar to marinate, reserve some marinade for basting, soak the meat in the rest and throw them right on a low grill, baste with the sauce a few times while cooking. leg quarters make excellent bbq meat and can cook for a long time to absorb the flavor without drying out, they come out tender and delicious. marinate them with rub and vinegar, then add extra dry rub when you put them in the oven. i usually start them at 300 for an hour then turn it down to 275. i think the meat is wonderful just with the rub, but you can brush it with your favorite bbq sauce at the very end if you like, or just serve it with sauce on the side so if people want that extra kick they can add it themselves.

thing one

pearls of wisdom passed to thing one from my husband and i:

God made you.
Jesus is a name for God.
You need your blood.
If you play with sharp dangerous things you can get cut (ouch).
If you get a cut big enough all your blood can go out, and then you die.

What he did with the assembled knowledge:

Mama i can't touch your kitchen knife because i can get a cut and the i'll die and then Jesus will have to make me all over again!

um. yes. sort of. okay, we'll leave it at that for now. i made it all the way until after bed time when i was taking my shower to laugh out loud, although, i'm not sure how. kids are priceless.

salmon pie

okay, stop making that face. think wonderful chicken pot pie, or maybe shepard's pie. good stuff right? okay, so is salmon pie. i was lead to this discovery after reading one of my favorite novels and wondering for the millionth time "what the heck is salmon pie?" turns out it's a fairly traditional brittish dish, and something of a comfort food in canada. while poking around for recipes i found a range from ones as simple as mashed russet potatoes with canned salmon stirred in to delicately flavored layered dishes with long lists of herbs and spices. what i settled on was my favorite oil crust recipe from better homes and gardens, plus a little extra salt and a teaspoon of dried dill. for the filling i've used both canned or fresh salmon, really i could go either way. i prefer the fresh for texture but for price the canned wins out some weeks. i sliced one leek and sauteed it in about two table spoons of butter, and boiled 5 smallish red potatoes, diced in medium sized chunks. this goes in a mixing bowl with the salmon, for fresh about a pound poached in water with salt and a couple of lemon slices then flaked in large chunks, or one 14 oz can. salt and pepper to taste, and sprinkle with dried dill. add about 1 cup thawed frozen peas, if desired. beside the fact that i think canned peas are gross, and have almost no nutritional value, they don't have the constitution for this, they'll go to mush when you stir everything together. fold all the ingredients together until you have an even distribution. in a small sauce pan either reduce 1 cup of half and half or make a small amount of white sauce (roux and milk) you'll need about 3/4 of a cup of sauce, not too thick, to keep everything moist. stir the sauce into the filling, assemble your pie and bake at 400 for about an hour. we serve ours with ketchup, because we're not too proud, and it's tasty.

Goosecapades

sooooo, about those geese. they weighed in Christmas morning at about 7 pounds a piece. and, because this is how my life tends to work out, not very full of the golden elixir known as goose fat. apparently it's a big stinking deal. i may never know. due to a small eating disorder episode they didn't get very big. who knows if they could have worked through it if they had time and therapy. or if i had figured out how to force feed the obstinate jerks.... any who i looked into crispy goose skin recipes and found somethings about steaming the geese for 45 minutes the day before roasting them. one got stuffed with ginger root and orange segments and the other one with apples, prunes, port and thyme. they were steamed, patted dry, refrigerated over night and roasted for about 2 hours each at 350. if i sound unenthused, frankly, i am a bit. this turned out to be hard work. if you ever feel moved to carve a goose, just give up now. unless you have help. okay, okay, maybe with practice it wouldn't be so bad. my husband was in love with the meat, and the rest of the guests seemed to enjoy it too. the slice i cornered for myself was pretty good but when weighed against the loss of my garden to feathered terrorists, not worth it. maybe i'm just bitter. they were pretty when all roasty toasty, and the apple stuffing was good. personally i'm going back to duck. alot cheaper by the pound and easier to wrangle. with the added to bonus that i've never had to spend hours pulling nasty ends of pin feathers out of the blow torch scorched flesh. i will do you the favor of not telling you about the smell that filled my house when my husband brought them in to wash them out in the sink, i will do you the further courtesy of not discussing the slaughter itself. not pretty. the roasting smell was better, but by that point i could hardly enjoy it. for a more moving post about roasting foul, i direct you to my blog about duck.

not just another scampi

tired of scampi? me neither. however, there is more than one way to skin a shrimp, so to speak. just because you want shrimp and pasta, in an easy dish, doesn't mean you have to load up the butter. one of my favorite things to make is a dish i originally learned while working at an italian restaurant, from the owner. simply put, saute shrimp in olive oil with some minced onion and garlic, when the shrimp are almost done add a bit of pesto and a splash of dark marsala. jim, the owner, also put in slices of pre-cooked italian sausage and porcinni mushrooms. just cook it all down until the shrimp are done and toss with pasta. wonderful!!